Friendship
Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people.[1] It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an "acquaintance" or an "association", such as a classmate, neighbor, coworker, or colleague.
"Friend" redirects here. For other uses, see Friend (disambiguation), Friends (disambiguation), and Friendship (disambiguation).
In some cultures, the concept of friendship is restricted to a small number of very deep relationships; in others, such as the U.S. and Canada, a person could have many friends, and perhaps a more intense relationship with one or two people, who may be called good friends or best friends. Other colloquial terms include besties or Best Friends Forever (BFFs). Although there are many forms of friendship, certain features are common to many such bonds, such as choosing to be with one another, enjoying time spent together, and being able to engage in a positive and supportive role to one another.[2]
Sometimes friends are distinguished from family, as in the saying "friends and family", and sometimes from lovers (e.g., "lovers and friends"), although the line is blurred with friends with benefits. Similarly, being in the friend zone describes someone who is restricted from rising from the status of friend to that of lover (see also unrequited love).
Friendship has been studied in academic fields, such as communication, sociology, social psychology, anthropology, and philosophy. Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, including social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles.
Dissolution
Friendships may end. This is often the result of natural changes over time, as friends grow more distant both physically and emotionally, but it can also be the result of a sudden shock, such as learning that a friend holds incompatible values.[36]
Some social media influencers provide suggestions using therapy speak to break up with a friend.[47][48] These have been criticized for being impersonal and upsetting, partially because they often reduce a conversation to a 30-second soundbite-sized announcement.[47][48] Social media posts may also encourage confrontations akin to a workplace performance appraisal, in which one person tells a friend that they are dissatisfied and threatens to break off the relationship if the friend does not conform to their expectations.[36] The end of a friendship is often due to inappropriate expectations on the part of the dissatisfied person, and demanding that a friend meet those expectations is incompatible with friendship's voluntary qualities.[36] Another option would be for the dissatisfied person to look for another friend who can meet the unmet need.[36] For example, if someone is dissatisfied because a friend does not plan events, then that person could find a second friend, someone who enjoys planning events, instead of rejecting the first friend for not being able to single-handedly meet all of their needs.[36]
The dissolution of a friendship may be taken personally as a rejection. Disruptions of friendships are associated with increased guilt, anger, and depression, and may be highly stressful events, especially in childhood. However, potential negative effects can be mitigated if the dissolution of a friendship is replaced with another close relationship.[4]: 248
Evolutionary approach
Evolutionary approaches to understanding friendship focus primarily on its function. In other words, what does friendship do for individuals, how does it work psychologically, and how do these processes affect people's actual behavior. Within this field, there are multiple proposed theories or perspectives about the function of forming friendships and making friends. One is the theory of Reciprocal Altruism which provides an explanation as to why individuals make friends with un-related others. It argues that friendship allows people to exchange benefits with each other and keep track of these exchanges in order to avoid exchanging benefits with a poor cooperator, or someone who will take benefits without giving any in return.[57] Another perspective likens friendships to insurance investments and argues when deciding to invest into forming a new friendship with another person an individual should be able to discern: whether the potential friend will be willing to help them back in the future, if the potential friend is in the position to help them in the future, and if the friendship is worth continuing or not, especially when many other potential friendships can be made.[58] These factors will determine whether forming a friendship with someone will be beneficial or injurious. Another explanation for the function of friendships is called the Alliance Hypothesis[59] which argues that the function of friendships is to acquire alliances for future conflicts or disputes. The Alliance Hypothesis states that conflicts typically can be won if and only if one side is able to acquire more allies than the competing side, all else equal, so individuals should be able to increase their odds of winning the conflict if they are able to recruit more alliances to their side.[59] Choosing your allies can be very important and there exists a variety of methods in deciding allies such as bandwagoning or choosing an ally that is loyal and will come to your aid in the future conflicts.[60] Thus, individuals should form alliances (i.e., friendships) with people that ranks themselves higher than other allies/friends. It is relative rank (i.e., where the self ranks among all other individuals) that is the most important contributing factor when deciding who is a loyal ally and friend.[60]
Friendship jealousy
Jealousy is an emotion that is often studied in the context of romantic and sexual relationships. However, individuals also feel jealous when it comes to potentially losing valued friendships. Friendship jealousy acts as an alert to the self that a close friends' other friends may be a threat to the self's relationship with that close friend[60] which motivates the self to enact behaviors that prevent the close friend from further developing better relationships with their other friends.[32] A recent multi-study paper found that friendship jealousy is activated by the potential loss of a friend by another person, is highly attuned to the feeling or thoughts of being replaced, and that the closer or more valued that friendship is, the more friendship jealousy someone will feel.[61] Men and women also tend to express different levels of friendship jealousy depending on the person who is attempting to replace them in the friendship, such that women compared to men expressed more jealousy over the potential loss of a best-friend to another woman.[62]