Intimate relationship
An intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves emotional or physical closeness between people and may include sexual intimacy and feelings of romance or love.[1] Intimate relationships are interdependent, and the members of the relationship mutually influence each other.[2] The quality and nature of the relationship depends on the interactions between individuals, and is derived from the unique context and history that builds between people over time.[3] Social and legal institutions such as marriage acknowledge and uphold intimate relationships between people. However, intimate relationships are not necessarily monogamous or sexual, and there is wide social and cultural variability in the norms and practices of intimacy between people.
"Intimacy" redirects here. For other uses, see Intimacy (disambiguation).The course of an intimate relationship includes a formation period prompted by interpersonal attraction and a growing sense of closeness and familiarity. Intimate relationships evolve over time as they are maintained, and members of the relationship may become more invested in and committed to the relationship. Healthy intimate relationships are beneficial for psychological and physical well-being and contribute to overall happiness in life.[4] However, challenges including relationship conflict, external stressors, insecurity, and jealousy can disrupt the relationship and lead to distress and relationship dissolution.
Intimacy[edit]
Intimacy is the feeling of being in close, personal association with another person.[5] Emotional intimacy is built through self-disclosure and responsive communication between people,[6] and is critical for healthy psychological development and mental health.[7] Emotional intimacy produces feelings of reciprocal trust, validation, vulnerability, and closeness between individuals.[8]
Physical intimacy—including holding hands, hugging, kissing, and sex—promotes connection between people and is often a key component of romantic intimate relationships.[9] Physical touch is correlated with relationship satisfaction[10] and feelings of love.[11] While many intimate relationships include a physical or sexual component, the potential to be sexual is not a requirement for the relationship to be intimate. For example, a queerplatonic relationship is a non-romantic intimate relationship that involves commitment and closeness beyond that of a friendship.[12]
Among scholars, the definition of an intimate relationship is diverse and evolving. Some reserve the term for romantic relationships,[13][14] whereas other scholars include friendship and familial relationships.[15] In general, an intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship in which physically or emotionally intimate experiences occur repeatedly over time.[16]
Challenges[edit]
Conflict[edit]
Disagreements within intimate relationships are a stressful event,[83] and the strategies couples use to navigate conflict impact the quality and success of the relationship.[84] Common sources of conflict between intimate partners include disagreements about the balance of work and family life, frequency of sex, finances, and household tasks.[85] Psychologist John Gottman's research has identified three stages of conflict in couples. First, couples present their opinions and feelings on the issue. Next, they argue and attempt to persuade the other of their viewpoint, and finally, the members of the relationship negotiate to try to arrive at a compromise.[86]
Individuals vary in how they typically engage with conflict.[86] Gottman describes that happy couples differ from unhappy couples in their interactions during conflict: unhappy couples tend to use more frequent negative tone of voice, show more predictable behavior during communication, and get stuck in cycles of negative behavior with their partner.[87][14] Other unproductive strategies within conflict include avoidance and withdrawal, defensiveness, and hostility.[88] These responses may be salient when an individual feels threatened by the conflict, which can be a reflection of insecure attachment orientation and previous negative relationship experiences.[83] When conflicts go unresolved, relationship satisfaction is negatively impacted.[89] Constructive conflict resolution strategies include validating the other person's point of view and concerns, expressing affection, using humor, and active listening. However, the effectiveness of these strategies depend on the topic and severity of the conflict and the characteristics of the individuals involved.[84] Repeated stressful instances of unresolved conflict might cause intimate partners to seek couples counseling, consult self-help resources, or consider ending the relationship.[90]
Attachment insecurity[edit]
Attachment orientations that develop from early interpersonal relationships can influence how people behave in intimate relationships, and insecure attachment can lead to specific issues in a relationship. Individuals vary in attachment anxiety (the degree to which they worry about abandonment) and avoidance (the degree to which they avoid emotional closeness).[91] Research shows that insecure attachment orientations that are high in avoidance or anxiety are associated with experiencing more frequent negative emotions in intimate relationships.[92]
Individuals high in attachment anxiety are particularly prone to jealousy and experience heightened distress about whether their partner will leave them.[93] Highly anxious individuals also perceive more conflict in their relationships and are disproportionately negatively affected by those conflicts.[94] In contrast, avoidantly attached individuals may experience fear of intimacy or be dismissive of the potential benefits of a close relationship and thus have difficulty building an intimate connection with a partner.[95]
Stress[edit]
Stress that occurs both within and outside an intimate relationship—including financial issues, familial obligations, and stress at work—can negatively impact the quality of the relationship.[96] Stress depletes the psychological resources that are crucial for developing and maintaining a healthy relationship. Rather than spending energy investing in the relationship through shared activities, sex and physical intimacy, and healthy communication, couples under stress are forced to use their psychological resources to manage other pressing issues.[97] Low socioeconomic status is a particularly salient stressful context that constrains an individual's ability to invest in maintaining a healthy intimate relationship. Couples with lower socioeconomic status are at risk for experiencing increased rates of dissolution and lower relationship satisfaction.[98]
Infidelity[edit]
Infidelity and sex outside a monogamous relationship are behaviors that are commonly disapproved of, a frequent source of conflict, and a cause of relationship dissolution.[99] Low relationship satisfaction may cause people to desire physical or emotional connection outside their primary relationship.[99] However, people with more sexual opportunities, greater interest in sex, and more permissive attitudes toward sex are also more likely to engage in infidelity.[100] In the United States, research has found that between 15 and 25% of adults report ever cheating on a partner.[101]
When one member of a relationship violates agreements of sexual or emotional exclusivity, the foundation of trust in the primary relationship is negatively impacted, and individuals may experience depression, low self-esteem, and emotional dysregulation in the aftermath of an affair.[102] Infidelity is ultimately tied to increased likelihood of relationship dissolution or divorce.[101]
Intimate partner violence[edit]
Violence within an intimate relationship can take the form of physical, psychological, financial, or sexual abuse. The World Health Organization estimates that 30% of women have experienced physical or sexual violence perpetrated by an intimate partner.[103] The strong emotional attachment, investment, and interdependence that characterizes close relationships can make it difficult to leave an abusive relationship.[104]
Research has identified a variety of risk factors for and types of perpetrators of intimate partner violence. Individuals who are exposed to violence or experience abuse in childhood are more likely to become perpetrators or victims of intimate partner violence as adults as part of the intergenerational cycle of violence.[105] Perpetrators are also more likely to be aggressive, impulsive, prone to anger, and may show pathological personality traits such as antisocial and borderline traits.[106] Patriarchal cultural scripts that depict men as aggressive and dominant may be an additional risk factor for men engaging in violence toward an intimate partner,[107] although violence by female perpetrators is also a well-documented phenomenon[108] and research finds other contextual and demographic characteristics to be more salient risks factors.[109] Contextual factors such as high levels of stress can also contribute to risk of violence. Within the relationship, high levels of conflict and disagreements are associated with intimate partner violence, particularly for people who react to conflict with hostility.[110]
Social and cultural variability[edit]
Culture[edit]
Cultural context has influence in many domains within intimate relationships including norms in communication, expression of affection, commitment and marriage practices, and gender roles.[111] For example, cross-cultural research finds that individuals in China prefer indirect and implicit communication with their romantic partner, whereas European Americans report preferring direct communication. The use of a culturally appropriate communication style influences anticipated relationship satisfaction.[112] Culture can also impact expectations within a relationship and the relative importance of various relationship-centered values such as emotional closeness, equity, status, and autonomy.[113]
While love has been identified as a universal human emotion,[114] the ways love is expressed and its importance in intimate relationships vary based on the culture within which a relationship takes place. Culture is especially salient in structuring beliefs about institutions that recognize intimate relationships such as marriage. The idea that love is necessary for marriage is a strongly held belief in the United States,[115] whereas in India, a distinction is made between traditional arranged marriages and "love marriages" (also called personal choice marriages).[116]